


garbage chutes and salmon ladders

by brandywine421



Category: Daredevil (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Teamwork
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22270885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandywine421/pseuds/brandywine421
Summary: Brett had been on his way to break up the gossiping cops by the front desk anyway and scanned the colorful advertisement now in his possession.*Attention NYPD Athletes!  US Ninja Warrior is coming to NYC and we are searchingfor the most extraordinary members of law enforcement in your area!*"Seriously?" Brett blinked at Vincent.He turned his wide eyes toward him.  "We haven't won a basketball, softball  - hell, we didn't even place in the baking contest last year, Sarge - but Hell's Kitchen might have a shot at this.""How you figure?"Silva slid up, flashing wide eyes to match her partner.  "Hell's Kitchen is the only borough with its very own ninja."
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Matt Murdock & NYPD
Comments: 38
Kudos: 197
Collections: DDE’s 2020 New Year’s Day Exchange





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [c_doves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/c_doves/gifts).



> This is for c_doves' unclaimed prompt - Outsider POV - with a bunch of other ideas I was given when I was writing their other fic - somewhere they mentioned liking NYPD interaction so I merged that with the only sport that I willingly watch on TV: 'American Ninja Warrior'.

"Sarge? You see this?" Officer Vincent pushed a flier into his hand.

Brett had been on his way to break up the gossiping cops by the front desk anyway and scanned the colorful advertisement now in his possession.

> ***Attention NYPD Athletes! US Ninja Warrior is coming to NYC and we are searching**  
>  **for the most extraordinary members of law enforcement in your area!***

"Seriously?" Brett blinked at Vincent.

He turned his wide eyes toward him. "We haven't won a basketball, softball - hell, we didn't even place in the baking contest last year, Sarge - but Hell's Kitchen might have a shot at this."

"How you figure?"

Silva slid up, flashing wide eyes to match her partner. "Hell's Kitchen is the only borough with its very own ninja."

They blinked practiced puppy eyes at him like that would make their suggestion less insane. 

Harris flexed his pathetic bicep in the lobby and one of the traffic officers failed to demonstrate how to bob and weave and upset the pile of freshly copied Wanted posters accidentally making it rain with strewn papers.

He raised an eyebrow at the pair of over-eager underlings.

"With the right training, we can totally do it. I parkour on my days off, and Vince does the climbing wall at his gym all the time," Silva said.

Vincent nodded. "All the time."

"Not gonna happen, guys," Brett said, narrowing his eyes to make sure they knew he was serious.

* * *

Silva had to give Vince some credit for making it happen - he'd bought her lunch from Nelson's Meats for a solid week before he managed to catch Foggy Nelson and request a pow-wow.

The boss was *not* happy but they were all off-duty and off-the-record and she was going to call him Brett in her head even if they hadn't enjoyed the three beer prerequisite for permission yet.

She was excited to see Daredevil again and it wasn't because she had a crush - hell, everyone who interacted with him close up had a crush - guy had swagger. She was excited because she wanted him to teach her everything about running up walls and making those flips without gravel-burn.

"What's this about, Brett?" Nelson asked, Daredevil hanging back with crossed arms but not bothering with the shadows.

Brett turned to them and Vince elbowed her. She didn't mind taking the lead - she needed this to happen. "We're going to compete in the US Ninja Warrior challenge that's happening in two months and we want you to train us," she said.

Daredevil twitched but Nelson had a thoughtful expression. Finally, Daredevil spoke up with a confused - "What's - "

Nelson mumbled under his breath, Daredevil tilted his head, and Brett sighed.

"Oh. Obstacle course. Okay, why do you need my help?" Daredevil asked, confusion flashing on his thirst-worthy mouth. Silva might have a thirst problem. 

"There's no one better at parkour in the city, are you serious?" Vincent boggled.

Nelson mumbled under his breath again and Daredevil's mouth quirked into a smile. "I've been told that's called being 'extra'."

Brett almost snickered but recovered quickly. "These two assholes want to represent Hell's Kitchen in the local NYPD trials and we'd really like to win over the other boroughs competing. Bragging rights."

Nelson perked up. "Oh yeah?"

"Back up. What does this have to do with me? I don't trust - "

"Yeah yeah, you only trust one cop in the city, button up," Nelson interrupted, laser-focusing on Brett. "So your precinct will compete with the others, like those poseurs out in Brooklyn?"

"I can make my pecs dance, too," Vincent grumbled. So could Silva but she wasn't about to show off in front of these dudes.

"Yeah, and the top three get a chance to compete in the Northeast semifinals," Brett said, glaring at Vince.

Nelson dragged Daredevil aside, whispering frantically and ignoring his grumbles of protest. He shoved the Devil hard and turned to face them with a defiant expression. "We're doing this - just give me a couple of days to get it together. But I want your word - you'll at least beat those Manhattan assholes - I spend more time in traffic court arguing about tickets than I do fighting for my own clients."

Silva glanced at Vince. "Why not just take a taxi or - "

Foggy aimed a withering look at Daredevil who lowered his chin in silent reticence. Oh boy, this was going to be a blast - Nelson totally had the Devil on a short leash.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

  
"Are you really doing this?" Jessica groaned when she walked into the warehouse and found a cluster of overeager cops by the single light.

"Oh my God, can I have your autograph?"

"No. Ew. Why?" Jessica scoffed but scrawled her name with a frowny face on the dude's offered ticket book. "I'm just here as spotter."

"You lost a bet, didn't you?" Mahoney called her out. Jessica answered with a middle finger as she took in the skeleton obstacle course. She decided to cut them a break and flipped on the lights that Spider-Punk had screwed in for them before Foggy chased him away on the grounds of neighborhood pride, also known as curfew. "Oh, that's better - you guys have permission for this, right?" 

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, Nelson's in it to win it, called in all the favors."

"Including yours?" the chick cop asked.

"He's a good lawyer," she conceded but she was curious, too. She missed Trish like - everything - but 'no woman was an island' or whatever Matt and Luke liked to coo at her when she accidentally passed out on their couches, or their apartment hallways. She needed to find out why Daredevil was cozying up to cops that weren't related to his little Spider-Minion.

"Oh snap, they really did it - " Foggy announced, walking into the warehouse. "It looks great!"

"Is it ready for us to practice?" the woman asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet eagerly.

Foggy turned to Matt and patted his shoulders like he was the prize-fighter about to go into the ring but he was in the mask and shrugged him off; annoyed instead of purring under the friendly contact like he would without the disguise.

"All right, Daredevil, remember what we talked about - the floor is lava."

Matt frowned. "I hate you."

"Run through the uneven steps, left right left, whatever you do - then grab the rope and swing to the platform," Foggy said, ignoring him. "Then use the trampoline - do we have a trampoline?"

"Present," Jessica said.

Foggy grinned. "Right, she'll help you reach the balancing boards where you have to use two hands to hold on and get to the next platform."

Matt's head ticked through Foggy's instructions but she wasn't sure he'd be able to track the rules of the 'course' when it was made out of the same construction equipment that littered the warehouse.

"Then you have to do the cliffhanger, use the ledges to get to the swing," Foggy nodded.

Matt sighed, making sure to elbow Foggy in the gut on his way toward the slanted planks and made a quick - hop hop hop - like an asshole - and caught the rope. He didn't wait for her to throw him at the suspended board, using his momentum to leap for it - and catch it with both hands.

"Yeah, hate all of you," Matt said, feet dangling above her as everyone watched him try to rein in his fancy acrobatics in an enclosed space. He swung his body forward enough to land on his feet and immediately jump to the wall panel lined with tiny ledges.

Daredevil dangled by his fingertips, boots skittering against the wall but not using it for a brace like Foggy had warned. "What now?"

"You have to get to the next ledge behind you then, grab the rope and swing over the imaginary water to land on the furthest landing pad," Foggy instructed.

"The floor is lava," Matt said solemnly, leaping and catching the ledge, and the rope but swinging to land on the second furthest mattress. Jessica walked over with a cup of water and dumped it on his head. 

"Fail. My turn," she decided, leaving him to sputter under Foggy's disappointed expression.

"If the supers can't do it, then you definitely can't, worker's comp won't cover this," Mahoney said.

"Devil's not super, unless you count annoying and invasive," Jessica snickered.

Matt shrugged, pushing himself up and brushing off what was left of his dignity. "Seems stable, gotta think about that rope, though." He tilted his head toward the curved plywood section and scrambled up the warped wall - the one thing she had heard about before.

Fuck him, that was cake - she could totally top his first try.

Jessica studied the 'uneven' steps and rubbed her palms together. This was easy and Matt had hopped between platforms with no problem - but the slant upset her balance and she tumbled to the floor on her second jump. Fuck all this.

"Told you to wear sneakers!" Matt called.

* * *

Silva's timing was off and the sudden panic of freefall took her breath but Daredevil's hand latched onto her forearm and heaved her over the edge of the roof in a heap. 

"You okay?" he asked.

"Thanks," she panted. "Shit, that would have been a helluva fall."

"You got this. Your partner's too focused on the pattern, the course - but you know how to think on your feet. Just remember the base plan."

"Don't fall, the ground is lava."

The vigilante grinned at her and it was oddly kind without blood on his teeth. "Right. Ready to go again?"

"I was promised a Slushie so lead on," she grinned.

Vince had been bragging about his boxing and climbing lessons all week but this - this was so much better.

* * *

Foggy, Theo and Brett stared up at the newest apparatus installed in the warehouse.

"What does it have to do with salmon?" Theo asked.

"And how is it a ladder? It's missing rungs," Foggy added.

Daredevil walked in with Luke Cage and Jessica, twirling a metal rod like a baton. Brett checked another mental mark in the 'probably ran away to the circus' column of his Daredevil theories.

"Where are my cops, Devil?" he asked instead of questioning the stick.

"Three blocks out, they really need to work on their stamina," he replied. "Is that it?"

Theo chewed on his lip. "I think it's broken, but Larry swears it's up to standards. It's not a ladder, though."

"Sure it is," Daredevil replied, holding up the rod. "Give me a lift?"

Brett thought he was asking Luke but Jessica put both hands on his waist and lifted him into the air so he could slide the metal rod into the slot of the salmon ladder to hang loosely by his fingers when she stepped back.

"Oh, I get it," Theo said.

"Really?" Foggy challenged. 

"No," he sighed.

Daredevil pulled himself up and then jumped - notching the rod into the next highest rung, swinging a moment before doing it again - five times until he was at the highest rung. He hesitated a moment before letting go. Jessica caught him bridal-style with a grunt just as Vincent and Silva sprinted into the space.

"Please tell me he fell off," Vincent panted.

"Nah, he's still infuriatingly competent," Brett replied, bringing them bottles of water. "Still think this was a good idea?"

Silva raised a thumbs-up with the hand she wasn't using to chug fluids.

"Got up the warped wall three out of five times today, best record I've ever had," Vincent shrugged. "Shit's tall, you know?"

Brett knew entirely too much about the too-tall wall drama and regretted his question. The training with Daredevil was _mostly_ secret back at the station, but the existence of the warped wall and the obstacles had ended up in a lot of late lunches and lost wagers - and at least three icepacks.

He did have a better appreciation for Murdock as a teacher, though. Miles wasn't allowed in the training sessions because of his dad's affiliation with the Enemy precinct, but Matt had coached the baby superhero through the course in an entirely different way than he barked instructions to Silva and Vincent. He picked up Silva's adrenaline junkie tendencies and plucked the good parts out to focus on and had Vincent pegged as a control freak who needed to leave room in his tunnel vision for his instincts to break free.

Luke took the bar and turned to Jessica, raising an eyebrow. She sighed and lowered Daredevil to the floor so she could lift the - almost twice her size - man over her head. Luke dangled for a long moment, inhaled and - fell into Jessica's arms like a fainting damsel.

He was really going to hate when he had to arrest these assholes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have not forgotten this! I ♥ this fic but attention span is not a thing I have.

They were on Parkour training since Nelson was adding more obstacles to the warehouse and Vince would forever regret teasing Silva about her hobby - flipping off walls and shit was hard work - it shouldn't count as cardio.

"It's none of my business, but did you tell your girlfriend where you've been going on your nights off?" Daredevil asked, stopping him with a raised hand.

Vince glanced at him. "You're right, that is none of your business, and I don't have a girlfriend. Why?"

Daredevil tilted his head to the right. "Someone's looking for you, sounds upset. Smells like your clothes."

"Gross, my sister lives with me," he said as he processed what the vigilante was picking up with his radar. Shit. "I need to get home - "

"Follow me, it'll be faster than going back for your car," he said, leading Vince on another up and down and over fire escapes until he recognized his own.

His sister screamed, as was her right when he was climbing through the window but he hoped it was because of Daredevil and not something - worse.

"What's wrong? I don't have my phone - " Vince started, holding his sister tightly until she stopped crying. It took longer than he expected and his panic tripled. 

"Three bucks," Daredevil said, cutting through the panic and holding out his hand.

"What?" Vicky sniffled. 

"Didn't bring my wallet, come on," he said and Vince shoved a crumpled five into his hand out of shock more than obedience and he disappeared through the window.

Vicky finally calmed down enough to confess that Kevin skipped school and was MIA for dinner and no one was answering their phones.

Kevin was a good kid but had his head stuck in his computer or phone most of the time. Vince wanted to tell her not to worry but she was always worried since the divorce from that asshat.

Daredevil reappeared on the fire escape with two slushies and held out a bright blue one for him. He turned and shoved his wide-eyed nephew through the window before ducking out of sight again with a wave of his red slushie.

"Kevin! Where on earth - "

Vince clutched the blue sugar bomb and tried to figure out what is his life right now.

"I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't think you'd be home yet and I knew Uncle Vince was out - I didn't meant to upset you," Kevin blurted out, hugging her tightly. "I can't believe you sent Daredevil after me - Chad almost pissed himself."

"I was so worried, I just - can't believe this, what were you doing?"

Kevin turned to him with a quivering lip. "I used a fake name and came in fifth in the world finals for Battle Lands of Glory today - I would've won cash money if I came in third or up but I took a risk and lost."

He wanted to high five him and after seeing his 'about to cry' face get worse - he reconsidered and fist-bumped him. "Good job, but you scared the hell out of your mom, kid."

Vicky pinched Kevin to prove his point but then she reached out and pinched him, too, snatching his drink. "Why are you running around with Daredevil?"

"We're - shit, training for that thing next month," he confessed, not daring to lie to her when she'd already had such a long night.

"He's in trash shape, needs a lot of practice," Daredevil called from the window.

"Really?" Kevin and Vicky turned to him with doubtful eyes.

* * *

"My lawyer tried to send me out hunting for pogo sticks for him once," Daredevil said, walking with Vince into the warehouse.

Vince considered all his knowledge about the vigilante asshole. "Do you mean Pokemon?" 

He snapped his fingers. "Right - Pokemon - but I didn't get it."

"Spider-Man got me an Ivysaur," Foggy called out. "Daredevil is useless at video games, come talk to me about Battle Lands."

Daredevil lowered his voice and turned to Vicky once Kevin crossed the warehouse to Foggy's 'judging' station. "His niece is a gamer, makes more money in a weekend at thirteen than her mom does at her full-time job. Nothing wrong with a kid earning their own college fund, right?" Vicky followed her son with renewed energy, leaving Vince with the finicky Devil.

"She's going to harass me forever about you now," he complained. "But thanks for finding Kevin."

"Running the streets is a whole different thing than it used to be," Daredevil said. "Glad he's a gamer but it would have helped if he was an athlete. Want to work on the trampolines?"

"Yuck," Vince groaned but he needed to get back to work. "You really think I'm in trash shape?"

Daredevil sniffed. "You didn't even drink your slushie - full of nutrients and everything."

* * *

Silva couldn't tell for sure considering their different routes, but she thought the Devil was going easy on her tonight - but she didn't know what was happening when he stopped on a low roof on the edge of the Kitchen and crouched down.

She'd made a pact with Vince to not investigate Daredevil's identity when he was doing them a solid by helping them train but they were both keeping mental notes of his quirks for future reference. He had banging ears, didn't particularly like water and didn't watch TV or movies.

"Why is Jenkins patrolling solo? Doesn't she have a partner?" he asked, breaking the silence. So he was using his magic ears, not softening their run.

"Thompson's on vacation, they must have needed her," Silva replied. "What's up?"

"She - might need to call for backup. I think she went to interview a witness but - they didn't know she was coming and - they didn't like it," he said.

She fumbled for her phone and dialed Jenkins, not surprised when it went to voicemail. She started to text her, everyone, but he caught her attention.

"This isn't training, this is an emergency," he said, flinging one of his batons, and catching it on the return trip like a boomerang on a string. He held out his hand and she accepted it, not thinking about the drop and the swing - shit shit shit - and the shock of the skidding landing on a roof too far for parkour. She would process how awesome it was later, after she caught her goddamn breath.

"What - "

"They've got her, I count - six - two - children? I - shit, they think she's with Immigration and - she doesn't speak Spanish," he said. "Can you call off the backup and just let me go through a window?"

"I didn't call it in yet, but I'm coming with you."

"Fucking ride-along bullshit, this is all Foggy's fault," he muttered, hopping over the edge to the fire escape and scrambling down.

* * *

She'd never put a lot of thought into how Daredevil interacted with Hell's Kitchen apart from kicking the shit out of bad guys and ninjas in dramatic fashion - but he had a better welcome than any cop who decided to knock on the window in the middle of a hostage crisis.

Three men were holding guns on Jenkins who was very professionally holding her hands up and showing no sign of shitting her pants. Silva admired the woman for a lot of reasons already, but damn she was cool with those guns in her face.

An older woman chattered angrily in Spanish and pushed open the window over the protests of the men. Silva's Spanish was less than rusty but she knew what 'diablo' meant.

Daredevil didn't have the language barrier and with a few growled phrases had the men lower their weapons and raise their hands to match Jenkins, minus the surprised face.

"What's happening?" Jenkins asked.

"Show them your badge again," Daredevil said. "They think you're with ICE. All the adults are legal citizens."

Silva didn't see any kids in the open space but Jenkins caught his phrasing and nodded.

"I'm Lieutenant Shari Jenkins with the Hell's Kitchen PD. I wanted to speak with Alex Lopez about an incident he may have witnessed at his place of business," she said carefully.

Daredevil translated, the old woman studied the badge and nodded, responding in a tired tone.

"He's at his second job right now but he saw the waitress slash the tires," Daredevil said. "Perhaps he can contact you later?"

"Absolutely, and I was never here," Jenkins said with an eager nod.

The woman turned to Daredevil with sudden sharp attention and he stiffened. Silva was totally signing up for Spanish lessons.

The men's faces lit up and one of them starting making ninja chop gestures and Silva realized that Daredevil was explaining why he was associating with cops. She put her finger to her lips when they caught her grinning and the old woman cackled.

* * *

Brett looked around the warehouse and hoped to God that they weren't breaking all the laws with this place. "More obstacles, Foggy? And the pads - half my crew was hauling safety pads on their lunch."

He didn't want to jinx anything but the streets had been oddly quiet lately, maybe because Daredevil was distracted playing with his officers or maybe because word was getting out. Hell's Kitchen, good or bad, wasn't the type of neighborhood to back down from a challenge - even one they set for themselves.

"Had some donations, and volunteers - not just from your squad," Foggy said, scratching his head in the 'about to apologize for something awful' warning.

Then he heard it - "Foggy, you didn't."

"I didn't, I swear, I have no idea how she found out, but - the safety stuff is totally up to code for the kids and - "

Brett counted Theo and Tommy Nelson sitting with Jenkins - the traitor - and Harris. Vince's sister and nephew were sitting with the Lopez family - he didn't want to talk about the mess that almost turned into - and right in front was his mother chatting with Daredevil and giving him instruction on the new course.

"See, what you have to do is - " his mother explained. "Swing around on the propeller bar - no more than twice or you'll get dizzy - and grab the rope, and use it to land on the platform. Take your shirt off and then use the trampoline to get to the triple swing - it's a row of three bars that get further apart, think monkey-bars - "

Matt raised his gloved hand. "Pardon me, but why do I have to take my shirt off?"

Brett crossed his arms and his mother spotted him and stuck her tongue out defiantly. "For aerodynamics, I assume."

"I have heard that, too," Jenkins offered with a wide grin.

"Foggy?" Matt called. "A word?"

**Author's Note:**

> **I have never seen a second of Brooklyn 99 unless you count commercials and/or gifsets but I do know that Terry Crews plays the flute and can make his pecs dance and I think he's on that show.**
> 
> **The Hell's Kitchen cops - Officer(s) Vincent and Silva - were first mentioned in a totally separate fic called '[manatee](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19442737)' I wrote where Matt mentors Miles Morales and I was too lazy to come up with new OCs when I already had them sketched out.**


End file.
